It is probably hard for many people to comprehend why anyone would join a cult. More so, why someone would remain in one for years. I also asked myself these questions. In fact, they haunted me. The remorse and shame I carried for how my life decisions affected those dearest to me - my own children - effectively caused me to be paralyzed by guilt for years. Overcoming this paralysis and extreme negativity is a work in progress, and I want to share with you what I've learned along the way. Perhaps other people are on similar journeys. If so, this blog is written for you.
After leaving, it has taken me years to be able to face what I'd done without self-recrimination. Well, actually, I'm still working on that one. But I have come to understand some of the whys.
I'm very proud of you.
ReplyDeleteHow kind you are! Thank you.
DeleteDear Mary, --I almost gave all my self to the CoG 1979, Houston. The year spent on the fringes colored/still colors my mental world. In other Christian groups throughout my life, I had some of the same following/ignoring/soldering-on responses you describe. Kind of like you, I study phil/psych/rel constantly to try to untangle and free myself. I look forward to learning from your posts. --- Much love, Debbie
ReplyDeleteThank you for your interest. There is so much to learn.
DeleteP.S. I found your blog via>>>>>>> http://sott.net/en305015
ReplyDeletethen went to>>>>>> http://www.salon.com/writer/mary_mahoney/
(The comments on Salon are embarrassingly out-of-touch with reality & history, in my opinion.)
In honesty, I am interested in CoG/TFI from an outsider perspective- I study cults/new religious movements/strict/fundamentalist religions. And you should be extremely proud of yourself. It doesn't matter if you're FLDS, Moonie, CoG/TFI, AUB, Black Hebrews, or even certain fundamentalist branches of Christians/Muslims/Pagans/Hindus/Jews, the massive levels of control leaders exert over their followers is beyond comprehension. You almost have to have extensive psych training to understand *and* recognize it. It is beyond the comprehension of many. Again- you're doing a good job, and should have pride in your actions. Keep doing what you're doing, and good luck to you and all people who leave/escape strict religious movements.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. What amazes me the most about cults is how "normal" is manipulated to be anything but normal. I agree, it is beyond comprehension for many. You kind of have to experience it to believe it.
DeleteI think you really do. The FLDS, for example, look at the outside world of "gentiles" {non FLDS people} as evil, and say they will do harm to members, just like CoG/TFI have major issue with "The System" and it's "Systemites." The "wrong" religion is the infidel, or heretic, to fundamentalist believers. The similarities in how they control their members would be inspiring if it weren't so damnably evil. Have you seen this video? It's silly, but very, very good at summing up cults. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVMDjfNjb0k
DeleteAnyway, I must reiterate, you've done a good job leaving, and I hope the best for you and yours.