Thursday, September 25, 2014


One terribly heart-rending consequence of accepting the "them and us" mentality was the requirement to cut ties with former friends and family. After all, "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37) I callously and blatantly disregarded the feelings of my family, preferring the approval and acceptance of my new pseudo-family, with all its consequent obligations and inherent loyalty. 

This "burning of bridges" by my insensitivity to those who cared about me further secured me to the group, and most likely, alienated and baffled them. I had all the emotional support and protection that I needed (or so I mistakenly thought). How self-centered this was never once occurred to me. On the contrary, I was sacrificing my life to "help others" and "reap eternal rewards." I was blinded by my perceived good intentions and convinced I was taking the high road.

"God has chosen me" was also a central theme in the COG teachings. Once I accepted that, then of course joining was my only option, staying in the group was my only option, unless I was mad or stupid, or decided to turn my back on God - and just imagine the consequences of such a decision as played out in the mind of the vulnerable. A fate worse than hell.

Clearly, "it was God's will" that I serve Him. Once that precedent was set, it was very hard to dismiss. 

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