Answering innocent questions can be difficult.
Q: What were you doing in the tropics for so many years?
Me: Uh. I was in a cult, following the teachings of a madman.
No, that won't do.
I did volunteer work.
Q: Cool! Volunteer work! What exactly did you do? Did you work in the slums?
Me: I was a childcare worker, maid, and FFer. For some reason, I don't think they'd understand that.
I mainly taught the kids of other volunteers.
Q: So you were a teacher in Japan, right? Where did you teach?
Me: At enormous Combo Homes caring for large groups of children 24/7 and working myself to exhaustion and nervous breakdown, all while struggling against sin and self in my striving to learn "submission."
At a private international school.
Q: What was it called? Would I know it? What train line was it on?
Me: Should I say The Heavenly City School? No, that's going to sound nuts. I have no idea what train line anything was on. I never went out.
It doesn't exist anymore.
Q: Have you been to [insert any sightseeing or famous destination in any of the countries where I lived]?
Me: No, I was busy at home.
uh....
That life was inexplicable. Please don't ask me any more questions.
This is a subject which we do understand very well. After being a member for almost 20 yrs we were faced with similar situations, where some simple things you cannot rationally explain.
ReplyDeleteEven now after coming back into society & trying to live normal life we can't share our past with people simple because of our association with fam. We always have to go around it somehow when asked hard to explain questions. We simply cannot risk our work and life being connected to the group. I heard of some case when some former member got connected to the group (and he was active on internet) when people connected him with fam – he got really branded the bad names – just because the group is viewed that way. My wife works with children, I work in small private company were 95% of employees are catholic & if any of our bosses' or co-worker would connect us with fam we would be simple branded worst kind of people. So, we never talk about the past and when somehow some questions arise about the past we have to very carefully and consciously steer around it somehow. Even if we would honestly answer some question – they would not understand it.
Actually, we were upset about all this pressure when Maria passed in her writings to come boldly and share our association with group with our friends and supporters. It did hurt a lot of people & we lost some precious friends – we were young & naïve in our thinking that somehow all of the member would head the instruction & be on the same page. But the Fam was never about equity/fairness, it was always double standard, better/worst bros, stronger/weaker, dedicated/lukewarm, politics, all kinds of different schemes etc. Since we were nobody in the group we were faced with more pressure from our supervisors to head the writings then some old timers who had connections & "broader backs". So, we foolishly shared with people who we are – thinking that somehow our friends would be more supportive to us & the lord would bless us for our honesty - no way. At the same time in other home the older couple openly refused to share with their supporters who they really are, and still today are reaping benefits of support by western churches who don’t have slight idea who they were supporting for a long time. This allowed them to live very comfortably, lacking nothing & are well set for the future. Nobody was surprised when the overseers' shepherds did nothing – they just nodded & explained that they are in different situation – nothing was done about it.
Looking back on how things were run in the group we concluded that it was always that way – double standard was a norm – common folks had to head the "word" (or should I call it rantings of mad-man/woman) while some other folks who did have connections always had other/higher reasons to act differently.
We for all our sacrifice, & supposedly living for the lord have – NOTHING, will not get any pension, we do not have any savings, we do not own anything, we don’t have house, furniture, car – nothing - after coming back from the group with virtually zero of anything we had do start afresh – but since the best time of our lives we spend in the group we lost time for education, career pursuit etc., & since coming back with our kids we did all we could to try to help them finish schools etc. We know we are not alone as we know some people who are in similar situations. Anyways this is a broad subject and one would write the thick book about how the life in the group affected us in so many ways.
It was hard to come to realization that it was all fake and wrong & that the group is NOT a Christian in a slightest way just because it uses Christian frases and terms. Berg used twisted scriptures mixed with twisted revelations to concoct twisted movement – all of which come to light to be false and corrupted to the core. Anyways I’d better stop here...
Take care and stay strong – life still goes on.