Sunday, March 1, 2015

Trust, and the Lack Thereof

As I'm sure you would agree, trust is a crucial factor for a healthy relationship, as people's memories, by nature, in time become confabulated fiction. Without trust, we readily believe emotionally-laden negative things about events that occurred in the past.

It is self-evident that memory is colored by emotion. When a memory involves another person, which so many do, how we "remember" things depends a lot on how we feel about the person involved. If the relationship with that person was one of love and trust, then the memory is more benign or neutral. If, for some reason, we feel animosity towards that person, the natural fictionalization of memory becomes more dark or accusatory.

"You didn't let me do ...., " reports the disgruntled teenager. "You made me do ....," says the bitter ex-spouse. We can easily, and unknowingly, give up the responsibility of our own poor decisions because of the warping effect of emotion.

Where love is thin, memories are negative. Where love is strong, there is forgiveness and understanding.

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