I understand that you have found a group where you feel you belong, a family where you are loved, and a purpose to give your life to. But I ask you to hear me out and take some time to think about what I am to tell you.
First, let me talk about falling in love. Our DNA is so driven to reproduce that it will do whatever it needs to in order to make that happen. We will fall in love, float on that high, and be blind to the faults of our love interest. Our DNA succeeds when our love produces children. Once children are born, our DNA’s work is done. Although many people marry certain that they will stay together “till death do us part,” the reality is that our initial in-love high does not last and thus many marriages fall apart. That is not necessarily wrong. We humans make mistakes. We do not need to feel bound by any commitment that is no longer working.
In much the same way, you have fallen in love with the Children of God. You feel you must serve Jesus with them “until death do you part.” But as I advise you about marriage, you should wait out that initial high.
Second, I know you feel sure of your conviction, and feel compelled to join the Children of God right now, and I know the Bible verses you will cite. But consider how you would feel if your old friends read all the Mo Letters, including the Disciples Only publications. Could you proudly show them off, or would you feel embarrassed? Should you feel embarrassed about someone/some group you will spend the rest of your life with?
If you feel ashamed of those publications and don’t wish others to see them, perhaps they are not as godly as you think they are. What shameful things did Jesus preach?
Third, I feel compelled to tell you a little about neurology. As you are 16, the fact is that your brain is not fully developed. The control portion of your brain, the frontal lobes that allow you to assess decisions and envision consequences, will not be fully developed until you are in your mid-twenties. Since it is biologically difficult for you to see the consequences of this enormous life-decision now, wouldn’t it be better to defer this decision until you can?
Use those years to broaden your education. Learn as much as you can in as many areas as you can. Objectively consider other paths. When you are my age, you will be glad you did.
After years in the bizarre bubble of the COG/TFI, I've spent 16 years in adjustment and learning, always with the question looming larger in my mind, "Why?" In the hopes that my search for answers may help others on similar journeys, I have created this blog.
For my most recent posts, please follow me on Medium at Mary Mahoney.
Pages
- Home
- "My Life in the Cult..."
- Reading Material I Love
- Q&A 1: Lies & Sexual Coercion
- Q&A 2: Mental Health
- Q&A 3: "The Word," Relations with Relatives
- Q&A 4: Can older people change?
- Q&A 5: Sex with Married Men
- Q&A 6: Discipleship
- Q&A 7: Adjustment after the Cult
- Q&A 8: Was there anything good about the cult?
- Q&A 9: What about Sexual Abuse of Children?
- Interview with Kurt Wallace